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All Things Dating and Marriage According to Scripture

Major dating questions:

1. Is it okay for Christians to use dating apps? Are there dating apps better than others?

2. Who should pay for the date? The man or woman?

3. How much should the parents be involved when dating someone?

4. How far into the dating relationship should you talk about serious things like how many kids each person wants, does anyone in the relationship have major debt, etc?

5. Does true love exist? What is love?

What does Canada’s Dating/ Marriage Landscape look like in 2021-2023?

Fewer of today's younger adults are part of a couple compared with previous generations. This decline in unions was largest for men and women aged 25 to 29, falling from 68% in 1981 to 43% in 2016 and then to 39% in 2021. The pursuit of higher education and starting a career, increasing delays in the onset of childbearing and the growing prevalence of young adults living in the parental home are among the trends that have contributed to this pattern. Additionally, a growing share of young adults live apart from their romantic partner

In young adulthood, most couples live common law. Nearly 8 in 10 (79%) people aged 20 to 24 in couples in 2021 were not married.

Living common law drops rapidly from ages 25 to 34, then declines more slowly to reach its lowest levels in the oldest age group. Among people aged 85 and older in couples, 5% were living common law.

Younger people are not getting married at their young ages. They are waiting until their 30’s to get officially married. This is a new trend according to the government of Canada. Many factors lead to this. The government actually says that:

1. online dating apps and massive “selection behaviour” is a factor

2. Young people are less interested in having kids or starting a family

3. 35.1% Young adults aged 20-34 years of age still live with one parent (economy)

These are all contributing to younger people being less interested in marriage and starting a family.

What does God tell us About Marriage/ Dating and Having a Family?

1. God’s Word starts with a marriage relationship—Adam and Eve. Adam was alone—all by himself, so God made a way for him to have a partner, a woman, who would eventually get pregnant and fill the Earth with more humans.

“Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the [ak]sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.” 27 God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. 28 God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the [al]sky and over every living thing that [am]moves on the earth.” –Genesis 1:26-28

2. God’s Word doesn’t command all humans to get married. It is okay to not want to get married and have kids.

But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. 9 But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.” – 1 Corinthians 7:8-9

Paul, Anna, Martha, Jeremiah, Ruth, Joseph, Nehemiah, John the Baptist were not married or with another person.

3. Marriage is a sacred and important sacrament between a man and a woman that should not be taken lightly. It is a lifelong commitment to a spouse.

“Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. 3 The husband must [a]fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and [b]come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 But this I say by way of concession, not of command. 7 [c]Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.” – 1 Corinthians 7:1-7

4. A dating / Married couple must approach the relationship in the way of Serving their spouse—It isn’t about you it is about you putting yourself behind the other person—To love someone is to give your life for them, to serve them.

“Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body.” --Ephesians 5:22-23

“So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; 29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,” – Ephesians 5:28-29

Marriage is a beautiful, hard, and daunting task in God’s word. It is ultimately life giving but God knows that our sinful has marred this sacrament. God does not want us to be abused inside of marriage as Jesus reminds us in Mathew 19:5-9.

“…and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, no person is to separate.” 7 They *said to Him, “Why, then, did Moses command to give her a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 He *said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to [a]divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way. 9 And I say to you, whoever [b]divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman [c]commits adultery.” Mathew 19:5-9

We must approach dating and marriage with respect. We must also approach our potential spouses with respect. Dating is not about what we can get (even though it is important to know who you are, what you are attracted to and what you want in life) but it is about what we can do for our spouses. How can we work with them? How can we respect them by being obedient and listening to them? And how can we communicate what I want with them in a respectful manner? Approaching a relationship with this mindset is being biblically obedient to God.

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